Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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