i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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