I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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