Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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