tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
