No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
