In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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