Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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