Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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