she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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