I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
