We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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