Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
