he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize