A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
