Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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