Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
