Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize