Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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