if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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