chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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