I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize