i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
