All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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