i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
