can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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