This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
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Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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