yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
