I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
