Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I sprained my soul last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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