I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize