I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
don't judge my taste in strippers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
