Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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