Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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