dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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