We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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