I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
