he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
