seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
