Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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