last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
