maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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