found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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