It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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