Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize