I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
