If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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