My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
