Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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