She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
