I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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