Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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