Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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