I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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