Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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