Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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