I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
