Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
